Verse Of The Day

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Whores, Spitzer, Swallows

I don't usually dive into politics on here, but everyone loves a good high profile prostitution sting....

With Gov. Spitzer, a.k.a. Client #9, getting busted using the services of a high class prostitution ring, some serious questions need to be answered. I'm not talking about the normal political crap like will he be impeached?, will he resign?, will he be arrested?, will other high-profile clients be outed?, etc. I'm mean questions like, what is the difference between a high priced hooker and a regular street hooker, anyways?

Really, they both take money from strangers and then slide down the dudes' meat-poles. They collect more DNA samples in a day than the CSI folks collect all year. That's a nasty, filthy whore, whether it costs $50 or $5000.

So what does the extra cash buy?

  • Is there such a thing as a higher class of venereal disease?
  • Does draining your man-goo feel better when you also drain your bank account?
  • Is it somehow less disgusting to think a thousand rich dudes impaled the whore with their man-swords, as opposed to a thousand regular dudes?
  • Do they share a glass of champagne with you after the deed, instead of hitting the crack pipe and watching Jerry Springer?
  • Do you get a souvenir hat or t-shirt or something? Like when you ride a roller coaster and they snap your picture coming down the big drop off?
Hindsight being 20/20 and all, I'm guessing the soon-to-be-former-governor of New York is probably thinking a 6 pack of Corona, a bottle of hand lotion, and some adult pay-per-view might have been the safer choice for a night out on the town.